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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29710449">Trapped In Caring Talons</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Wishes/pseuds/Lily_Wishes'>Lily_Wishes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, I am bad at writing manipulation so bare with me, Kidnapping, M/M, Memory Loss, Multi, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Protective Alexis | Quackity, Protective Karl Jacobs, Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Pyromaniac Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Tags Are Hard, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Traumatized Toby Smith | Tubbo, Traumatized TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Phil Watson, Villain Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Will add tags along the way, idk how ao3 works so work with me here, why</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:42:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29710449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Wishes/pseuds/Lily_Wishes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tubbo was dealing with his best friend death. Not normal but sometimes that’s how it is. At least he tried to deal with it.</p><p>Tommy’s family however? Their way of ‘coping’ is taking their dead family member’s best friend and forcing him to pretend to be said dead family member.</p><p>TLDR: SBI kidnaps Tubbo after Tommy dies in exile; Tubbo isn’t doing very well.</p><p>Inspired by: ‘Dream smp prompts cause i make prompts up when i sleep - Chapter 4: let us adore you (sbi)’ by @leelikesarmadillos</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexis | Quackity &amp; Karl Jacobs &amp; Ranboo &amp; Sapnap, Alexis | Quackity &amp; Karl Jacobs &amp; Sapnap &amp; TommyInnit, Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Floris | Fundy &amp; Ranboo, Floris | Fundy &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Floris | Fundy &amp; TommyInnit, Ranboo &amp; Toby Smtih | Tubbo, Ranboo &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Technoblade, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>704</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Tubbo couldn’t cope but at least he didn’t deny it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/leelikesarmadillos/gifts">leelikesarmadillos</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Honestly Idk how Ao3 works, I’m a wattpad and Quotev writer and am presently trying to understand this website. So bare with me here.</p><p>I got this prompt from leelikesarmadillos, they’re great and anyone who reads this should go check them out. Also I do not know how to work the inspiration thing so yeah</p><p>Also, this story is on the characters in the roleplay of the Dream SMP not the real-life people.</p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tubbo had made the mistake of trusting his best friend’s family.</p>
<p>They raised him, right? He should be able to trust them... right?</p>
<p>After he found Tommy had killed himself in Logstedshire, he ended up breaking down.</p>
<p>He didn’t mean to turn to anyone for comfort. Not purposely. But Phil saw him trying to slip through L’Manberg unnoticed and Tubbo had broken down in his arms.</p>
<p>Tubbo didn’t know what had clicked in Phil’s mind, or in Technoblade’s or in Wilbur’s resurrected mind.</p>
<p>But now he’s trapped within cold wooden walls.</p>
<p>“Come on, Tommy. You need to eat.”</p>
<p>Wilbur was right beside him, trying to urge Tubbo to eat.</p>
<p>Tubbo hated this. His best friend was dead because of him, it was completely his fault. But for some reason, Wilbur, Techno, and Phil... they couldn’t accept it.</p>
<p>It’s only been a week.</p>
<p>The first two days were fine, Phil had basically kidnapped him and took him to Techno’s house. At first Techno was very against this but after a private conversation between the two, he was fine.</p>
<p>Not to mention Wilbur was alive now. Resurrected by Phil but they didn’t have the supplies to ever do it again, it was a one time thing and they didn’t know Tommy was going to die.</p>
<p>The third day Tubbo didn’t noticed they became more possessive. It was subtle, Wilbur became more touchy, Phil would keep him there with carefully knitted words, and Tubbo didn’t trust the new look in Technoblade’s eyes. He tried to leave but Wilbur stopped him, saying it was way too cold out for him to try and get back to L’Manberg before dark.</p>
<p>Albeit confused and frankly a little scared, Tubbo stayed a little longer.</p>
<p>The fifth day was when things changed. It was a huge change.</p>
<p>They started calling him Tommy, Phil had practically forced him to change from his usual clothes into an old pair of Tommy’s. Which barely fit.</p>
<p>He was terrified.</p>
<p>“I’m not hungry.” Tubbo pushed Wilbur’s hand and the spoon of food away. He really wasn’t. He would rather starve to death then be forced by his dead best friend’s family to be his best friend.</p>
<p>“Oh Toms, what’s wrong?” Wilbur cooed, bringing his hand up against Tubbo’s face.</p>
<p>The warmth in his skin made it hard for Tubbo not to lean into the soft touch. But it wasn’t meant for Tubbo, it was meant for Tommy. “No. Stop it Wilbur!” Tubbo snapped, smacking his hand away. “You need to stop—“</p>
<p>“What’s going on here?” Phil and Techno came in the doorway. “Tommy did you hit your brother?” Phil looked at him disapprovingly.</p>
<p>“I’m not freaking Tommy!” Tubbo snapped at Phil, getting to his feet. “I’m Tubbo. Tommy’s dead!—“</p>
<p>Tubbo went silent as a smacking sound filled the room.</p>
<p>He stumbled back a little and stared up at Technoblade.</p>
<p>“Never say that name again.”</p>
<p>Tubbo didn’t dare nod.</p>
<p>Phil came forward. “Tommy, apologize to both of your brothers. They’re only trying to help.”</p>
<p>“No-no-no.” Tubbo shook his head, stepping back. “No! They’re Tommy’s brothers! Not mine—“</p>
<p>“You are Tommy.”</p>
<p>“No I’m not!” Tubbo covered his ears after Wilbur said that. “You’re all insane! You can’t accept death! Tommy’s dead and you can’t fix it! You used any chance to bring him back once you brought back Wilbur!”</p>
<p>Phil grabbed his arms and forced them down. He wrapped his arms around Tubbo and he tried to push him off, to free himself, but Phil was too strong.</p>
<p>Tubbo broke. He couldn’t contain his emotions from this anymore.</p>
<p>He tried to push Phil off him as he cried, breaking down into tears and choked sobs. He didn’t want this. His best friend was dead because of him, and his family was doing this? He didn’t want it. He wanted to be free but he also wanted this affection. He wanted to feel wanted. He wanted to feel like people actually cared about him.</p>
<p>So with Phil holding him —albeit against his will— he slowly stopped fighting back and let Phil gently comfort him. Whisper sweet nothings into his ear, carefully card his hand through his hair, all while using Tommy’s name.</p>
<p>It made it worse if anything.</p>
<p>“You still have to say sorry to Wilbur for hitting him, and apologize to Techno for making him hit you. He doesn’t like hurting you Toms.” Phil told him, pulling back slightly but still completely trapping Tubbo.</p>
<p>Tubbo didn’t know what he could do. He... he could pretend for them and try to escape... that could work.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you both.” Tubbo said softly, he couldn’t lift his head to face them. He still felt trapped but maybe he could get out. He was smart, he never depended on his physical abilities to get him out it was always his mind.</p>
<p>“There you go.” Phil cooed.</p>
<p>Wilbur joined in the hug, once Tubbo was secure in the brunet’s hold Phil moved away. He left the room with Techno.</p>
<p>Tubbo knew he could fake things well. There was a reason he was a good spy up until Schlatt practically beat the truth out of him.</p>
<p>He could handle this for a few days.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. An Arsonist, a Capitalist, a Storyteller, and an Amnesiac</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Oop, Tommy’s alive? Oh well, I guess I can remove this major character death tag—well he did die so I think it has to stay actually... and maybe someone else may die later idk yet</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A tall blond boy, azure blue eyes, in white and red tattered clothes gasped awake.</p><p> </p><p>He shot up, panting as he took in his unfamiliar surroundings.</p><p> </p><p>A bedroom. Spruce wood mostly, and bookshelves. He was on a red bed.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, he's up!" A man in the doorway, with a blue beanie and jacket, called back. "What's up, man?"</p><p> </p><p>The man slowed in confusion at the lack of familiarity in the boy's eyes. He didn't know who he was.</p><p> </p><p>"Uhh—Sap? Karl?" He looked back, two more men entered.</p><p> </p><p>"What's wrong?" One brunet with a white bandana and a long sleeve black shirt under a white shirt sleeved one came in. "Oh morning, Tommy."</p><p> </p><p>"Hey are you alright?" The other brunet came in, wearing a teal, green, purple jacket.</p><p> </p><p>The boy was confused, and wary. "Who—where am I?"</p><p> </p><p>"You're in our house." The jacketed brunet answered. "What happened—"</p><p> </p><p>"Who the fuck are you?"</p><p> </p><p>Shock went across the three brunet's faces.</p><p> </p><p>"Umm... Ok, Tommy, I'm Karl... that's Quackity and Sapnap."</p><p> </p><p>"Oh no, don't tell me he's an amnesiac." The one Karl said was Quackity muttered. "Alright, what do you know?"</p><p> </p><p>The blond, who the three called Tommy, opened his mouth then shut it and glared. "What the fuck did you do? I-I—how—"</p><p> </p><p>His angry glare melted to a panicked expression.</p><p> </p><p>Sapnap moved over quickly as Tommy descended into a mild panic attack.</p><p> </p><p>It took a solid twenty minutes to calm him down.</p><p> </p><p>"Alright, would you like us to tell you what we do know about you? We can get you a book and you can write everything in it that you remember." Sapnap offered. "We can help you. We're friends, all friends here. Well they're my fiancé's but you're our friend. Ok? And for you're own safety I think we should keep you being here a secret."</p><p> </p><p>Tommy nodded. He had calmed down slightly but he trusted them. "Yeah, yeah sure."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Apologies for this very short chapter however since each chapter will swap between Tommy and Tubbo’s third person POV it lets me actually come up with relevant names to the whole chapter rather than to half the chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Broken Hopes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Important : I should’ve mentioned this a lot sooner but if you have any sort of trigger to manipulation, violence, yelling, cursing, suicide, drug use, or memory loss, or anything along those lines then this isn’t the story for you. I am so sorry I didn’t address this earlier and I will try to add chapter specific TW to the beginning of each chapter</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW : subtle emotional manipulation, drug use, mentions of suicide, slight cursing</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tubbo was laying in 'his' bed, listening carefully as the moon rose higher and higher.</p><p>Three days of pretending to be Tommy for his insane family.</p><p>Tubbo missed his real father. Sure Phil raised him, sure Wilbur raised him, and yes he loved them and all. But he still had distant and very faded memories of his father. He didn't know much but he knew he cared, and he loved him, but he was gone.</p><p>Now Tubbo had to escape the family that raised him because they couldn't cope with another loss, even though they got back the first loss.</p><p>He slipped out of bed, he grabbed a coat and slid his shoes on. Tubbo would've rather doing that outside to avoid making too much noise but he couldn't risk being seen and not being able to run.</p><p>Well... he could just jump out the window instead... He carefully pushed his window open, it was probably a five foot drop, and jumped out into the snow.</p><p>It crunched under his feet and he ran.</p><p>Tubbo didn't let himself get too excited, he had to get as far away as possible before he could feel excited.</p><p>Tubbo was barely over the hill when he heard someone shout behind him.</p><p>Panic surged through him as he leapt over the curve of the hill and rolled with his landing down the hill. Tubbo shot back up and ran further.</p><p>He could hear someone behind him and he glanced back.</p><p>Of course they sent Technoblade.</p><p>Tubbo felt his panic rise as he ran faster, he could see the cold ocean near him but he also felt Techno get closer as well.</p><p>Tubbo slid across the ice and stopped at the edge.</p><p>Techno stopped just barely on the ice.</p><p>"Tommy don't run." Techno said softly. Tubbo was admittedly caught off guard by the softness in his voice and eyes. "We care about you. We can't lose you again."</p><p>Tubbo shook his head. He wish he had thought of getting a boat. He couldn't swim very well in a heavy coat, especially huge distances and in arctic temperatures. But he could try.</p><p>As Tubbo took a small step back Techno took one forward. "You'll freeze, Theseus. Don't try and swim this late at night."</p><p>Theseus was Tommy's real name, the only person who called him that was Techno and it was practically his special nickname for him.</p><p>"I don't care. I'm not Tommy. I'm not Theseus. I'd rather be Theseus' father and die rather than live in a world without my best friend." Tubbo said, he hated how his voice shook.</p><p>Little did Tubbo know how accurate that comparison was.</p><p>"Don't try and kill yourself, your Theseus isn't dead, Tommy."</p><p>Wilbur caught up. He came up beside Techno and his panicked eyes softened —why did they have to look so welcoming and warm?!— as he saw how Tubbo was ready to jump into the water.</p><p>"Oh Tommy, do you really hate us that much?" Tubbo froze as Wilbur's eyes turned glassy. "Are we that bad—"</p><p>"No! No you're amazing Wilbur I promise—"</p><p>"Then why did you run?"</p><p>"Because—Wilbur you're being insane! This is insane! I'm not Tommy. I know it hurts that he's gone but I don't—I can't—I can't handle his death anymore than you."</p><p>"Oh Bub," Tubbo hadn't noticed how close Wilbur had come, "you know that's not true. You're here with us, and alive. You're not gone."</p><p>"W-Wilbur don't." Tubbo couldn't handle the sweet words. He yearned for them so much more than he ever believed but he couldn't take it from mad men. But Wilbur calling him 'Bub' brought him back to when he was little. He could feel tears springing to his eyes as he backed up a little more. His heel hanging over the edge of the ice.</p><p>"Don't do this, you're meant to stay with us. We're family after all. You love us don't you?"</p><p>"Of course I do! But I can't—you love Tommy not me."</p><p>Wilbur was right in front of him now. Tubbo realized this when Wilbur suddenly cupped his cheek.</p><p>He froze. "N-No—"</p><p>"It's alright, Bub. We love you so much. Lets go."</p><p>Tubbo shook his head. He couldn't do this. He couldn't give in. They weren't his family they didn't love him, they loved Tommy. They only took him in because Tommy refused to leave him. He knew that.</p><p>Tubbo tried to get away. He tried to dive into the water.</p><p>But Wilbur was faster and he was ready.</p><p>He caught both of Tubbo's arms, a vicious and possessive look in his eyes replaced the soft kind one.</p><p>"I said let's go." Wilbur said. "You aren't leaving us again Tommy. You won't run away again, we'll make sure of it."</p><p>Tubbo could handle those sort of words a lot easier. He tried to tear himself free and run but Wilbur basically passed him over to Techno who had a lot stronger grip.</p><p>"Let—me—go."</p><p>Tubbo tensed but as a hand began to card through his hair he involuntarily relaxed. Though he still kept trying to get away.</p><p>They ignored him, just whispering softly to him as they brought him back home, Phil was standing in the doorway.</p><p>Tubbo kept fighting, he couldn't just allow himself to accept this. They may have taken his communicator, kidnapped him, and can easily prevent his escape, but he couldn't just lose hope. As sappy as it is, hope and Tommy was all he had for the longest time. He was always optimistic and could always find hope, and Tommy was always by his side...</p><p>until he exiled Tommy and Tommy committed suicide.</p><p>So now all he had left was hope, he wasn't going to give it up now.</p><p>Tubbo was (annoyingly) gently set down on the couch.</p><p>"Oh Toms, why do you hate us?" Phil asked softly, sitting beside him and squeezing his shoulder gently. "I thought you cared about us? Doesn't family mean anything to you?"</p><p>Tubbo tried to glare. "I'm not Tommy, Phil. I can't—... you're in denial! Tommy's dead—"</p><p>"That's enough Tommy."</p><p>"No! No whatever you've been doing is enough! You need to accept that your son's dead!"</p><p>Tubbo went silent as his face suddenly stung.</p><p>Last time, he was smacked across the face, it was Techno. This time it was Phil.</p><p>Seconds after Phil smacked him, he was trapped in a tight hug that he couldn't escape.</p><p>"You need to stop talking like that Toms, I don't like hurting you. I hate it. It hurts me. I love you so much and you're forcing me to hurt you." Phil carded his hand through Tubbo's hair, Tubbo hated it so much. He hated that he almost leaned into these warm touches, he almost believed these gentle words, he hated it.</p><p>Wilbur appeared beside them. "Tech and I are gonna take him to bed, Phil. We'll make sure he doesn't try and run again." Phil loosened enough for Wilbur to pick Tubbo up.</p><p>Tubbo almost did it again. He almost leaned in. However he just barely kept up fighting.</p><p>Wilbur carried him to 'his' room and set him on the bed.</p><p>Tubbo scrambled away from him but Techno caught one arm and Wilbur caught the other.</p><p>Tubbo fought as Wilbur took both his arms held him down. He didn't know what was about to happen. Techno left the room.</p><p>"I'm so sorry Bub, but we can't risk you running anymore." Wilbur cooed, he held Tubbo's wrists in one hand and his other hand was in his hair, gently playing with it.</p><p>Tubbo saw Techno come back with something glass. It looked like a syringe.</p><p>Tubbo wasn't an idiot, and even an idiot could connect the dots.</p><p>"No—Wilbur don't—Techno—"</p><p>Wilbur shushed him. Even as his panic filled eyes looked to him for help he didn't stop it.</p><p>He simply moved the hand that was in Tubbo's hair down to cover his mouth. Something cold was in his hand but at the time Wilbur's hands were naturally very cold.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Theseus." Techno said. "It's a safety precaution."</p><p>Tubbo let out a scream as the solid iron hit his leg  then some sort of liquid poured into his mouth.</p><p>Wilbur clamped his mouth shut and as Techno brought the rod down again, he was forced to swallow.</p><p>The pain was numbed but so was everything else. He couldn't lift his arms anymore, they just felt so heavy. He couldn't even really see much.</p><p>He felt warm, and that's all before he passed out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am genuine surprised at how fast people have found this but then again this fandom is insane so...<br/>I’m happy with how this is turning out. It’s dark, especially with them now breaking Tubbo’s legs to keep him from running and drugging him. If you don’t know how Wilbur drugged him, he had a small vial in his hand so when Tubbo scream and his mouth open he could easily pour the contents of the vial into his mouth and therefore drugging him.<br/>Dark yes, fun to write yes, and the story is picking up speed!<br/>(I thought this would only be like 8000 words long but I’m pretty sure it’s going to go up to like 10000 or something)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. This Interstate Is Paved With Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy visits a place filled with memories, he only remembers two but hey, quality bonding time!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Memory Loss, mentioned manipulation, mentioned death</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sapnap, Quackity, and Karl had given Tommy a book a few days ago and when they could —one of them was always there— they'd tell him stories about his own past.</p><p>Tommy had two brothers, he didn't have a mother to their knowledge but he had a father, his best friend was president, Quackity was Vice President, and so on.</p><p>So far, he knew his name was Tommy Innit, his father was Philza Minecraft the Angel of Death, he had two brothers, Technoblade and Wilbur Soot. How they were family wasn't something his new (old?) friends knew. His best friend was Tubbo, Tubbo had exiled him because Dream threatened L'Manberg, the country them and Wilbur and Fundy, his technical nephew, had founded. He's been exiled twice, L'Manberg has been blown up twice, and he's died three times.</p><p>He also found out that everyone only had three lives but somehow he was alive now after losing his third life. No one knew how. He also learned that he had a lot of enemies and since he was technically still exiled he was technically still allowed there. So he was only allowed to go outside at night and with someone. He honestly didn't really like that, but he knew these three genuinely cared about him.</p><p>How? Because one night he woke up screaming from a nightmare he didn't remember, and they helped him. They told him about himself, well what they knew about him, and they were just nice. They weren't overly nice, he and Sapnap often had fun (insulting) arguments, but he didn't not trust them. They had filled in the roles of older brothers to him, even if none of them knew it at the time.</p><p>Tommy knew one thing though. For complete certain. Dream was evil, and Tubbo was his best friend. He knew that. He had two memories. One was one he had to explain to Quackity to know it meant Dream was evil, it was of Dream —as Quackity said when Tommy described him— forcing him to destroy all his items only to be nice and say he cared. Quackity said that was manipulative and they'd probably kill Dream for it.</p><p>The other memory was at sunset, it was two memories melded into one really, and it was Tommy and a boy with brown hair —who Tommy learned was Tubbo— and they were sitting on a bench together laughing. Then at random times it shifted to Tommy standing at the bottom of a huge wall, Tubbo at the top and looking away slightly, Tommy saw Tubbo crying as Dream was pulling him away.</p><p>Outside of the crying detail, Quackity said that moment was when Tubbo exiled Tommy. That's how Tommy knew that Tubbo didn't want it, but with what Dream had threatened he knew it was the (really bad) best choice. Maybe he hadn't at the time but with watching that repeatedly, he noticed more details.</p><p>Tommy had re-became good friends with Ranboo, who helped him with doing his new memory book since he himself had memory problems. They hung out a lot.</p><p>Today, Tommy had convinced Sapnap and Quackity to show him L'Manberg while Karl was on a trip.</p><p>"This is L'Manberg. Up there's the White House," Quackity was pointing out parts of L'Manberg to Tommy, he didn't recognize it however the crater it was built on made him feel sad inside.</p><p>He jotted that down inside his book.</p><p>
  <em>L'Manberg crater = sad(?) maybe Wilbur death or blowing up</em>
</p><p>"Hey Big Q?" Tommy didn't notice Quackity freeze at the nickname. "You said Tubbo was president, where is he?"</p><p>Quackity sighed. "He's been missing for nearly two weeks now. After we tried to execute Technoblade, remember me mentioning that?" Tommy nodded. "Yeah well he excused himself, Ranboo said he heard him say he was going to go see you, and we haven't seen him since. We know he didn't die since the alert never went out, so he either ran away after he found out you died or got kidnapped.'</p><p>"Have you looked for him?"</p><p>"Of course! But we can't find him! I'm more worried about Dream since he doesn't have you to manipulate anymore if he took Tubbo or is going to rain hell on us." Quackity admitted. A new fire behind his eyes. "Next time I see him I'm going to strangle him for hurting my fianc—"</p><p>"What did I say about trying to fight people with much higher fighting skill then you?" Sapnap questioned.</p><p>Quackity glared at him. "Just because I lost to Technoblade once—"</p><p>"Twice."</p><p>"—doesn't mean I'll lose to Dream. Besides we have a plan."</p><p>Sapnap rolled his eyes. "Let's head on back if the tour is done. I don't want Dream finding out Tommy's alive before Tommy's memories are back."</p><p>They nodded and headed back home.</p><p>Tommy liked them. They were great. Sure he didn't have much to compare, but the fact that despite the possibility of Tommy never trusting them, they didn't hold back tidbits of information. Like Sapnap having betrayed him twice, or Quackity siding with Schlatt when he exiled him.</p><p> </p><p>Tommy had a feeling that with more time he would be different, but he didn't think he would stop trusting these three fiancés.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Apologies for the short chapter again, most of Tommy’s chapters will be short since I find myself pretty bad at writing his POV.</p><p>Thank you also for the support given, I’d like to remind y’all I did get this from a prompt so if it seems similar to another work it may be because they used the same prompt.</p><p>Also yes there will be comfort for Tubbo eventually, don’t you worry.</p><p>(Yes I based the chapter title off of Dream’s song because it felt like it fit, am I supposed to put a note on where I get chapter names from if I use lines from songs and such?)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Glaciers Melt Or Break</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tubbo’s touch starved, well just all around affection starved and now being drugged. Wonder how long he’ll last.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tubbo was breaking.</p><p>They had broke both his legs so now he couldn't move on his own. Whenever he tried to do anything, one of them was somehow there to 'help'.</p><p>It's been nearing four weeks since they snapped his legs and five since his arrival, he's been moved from 'his' bed to the couch. Wilbur would fed him, he tried to eat himself but Wilbur was stubborn. Then again so was Tubbo.</p><p>However when Phil had scolded him —in a kind fatherly tone that Tubbo never knew— Tubbo had given in.</p><p>He felt weak. Giving in to the sweet words and warm touches. The way Wilbur would smile so warmly and gently at him (with a film of denial over his eyes that shrouded his reality) as he helped him do menial tasks he could easily do himself even with two broken legs. He gave in to Phil, who would cradle him and say more sweet words. He even gave into Techno who would 'allow' Tubbo to lay by him as he read a book aloud for him.</p><p>He hated how all they had to do was be nice and he'd give in, but he was conditioned to trust the nice and not trust the mean. Tommy's insults were his 'nice', Schlatt's kind words were his 'mean'. But Tubbo never knew what Wilbur, Phil, and Techno's nice and mean were. Despite growing up with them, he knew their angry and happy but not their nice and mean. Because it varied with time.</p><p>Oh Tommy...</p><p>Tommy has been dead for five weeks now. And he couldn't even grieve him properly. His best friend had killed himself because Tubbo exiled him. It was all his fault, completely his fault. His best friend was dead because of Tubbo.</p><p>He didn't know how to handle it and he didn't have the time to learn how.</p><p>He wanted to go home. Even if home barely had anybody who cared about him, at this point he would rather everyone hate them then this.</p><p>
  <em>No. No they care about you—</em>
</p><p><em>No they don't!</em> Tubbo screamed at himself. They don't care about Tubbo they care about Tommy! They could care less about Tubbo.</p><p>It was starting. All their words were starting to get into Tubbo's brain. It was getting into his prison that while kept him from stopping his body and heart, it was keeping it from being quote unquote, 'tainted'.</p><p>He hated how his mind always used logic because now that logic was being used against him.</p><p> </p><p>Yesterday, in his anger he ended up stabbing Phil's hand with a fork.</p><p>He woke up at the same time as usual and Wilbur came in ten minutes early.</p><p>"Aww, it little Tom all sleepy?" He cooed, coming closer.</p><p>Tubbo tried to move away from him but Wilbur didn't let that happen. He pulled Tubbo up slightly and he caught his wrists.</p><p>Tubbo was never a morning person. Tommy was but Tubbo wasn't. He just woke up and no matter what happens in the mornings his body doesn't really wake up until a good hour after he's awake. That's a new thing, it only started happening after they snapped both his legs.</p><p>So Wilbur easily tied a rope around his wrists behind his back before scooping him up and carrying him downstairs.</p><p>Tubbo was too tired to try and fight, the warmth the came from Wilbur was welcoming... it was nice.</p><p>He snuggled into Wilbur a little, he scolded himself but he still did it. And Wilbur let out a small aww.</p><p>"Are you tired bub? Don't worry you don't have to do anything. We got you." Wilbur assured as he set Tubbo down on a chair, propping both legs on another. At least the properly splinted his legs.</p><p>Techno was nowhere to be seen, which was normal for mornings but he was always there come nightfall when supper rolled around. Phil was flipping through a book as he drank some tea, or coffee Tubbo couldn't tell.</p><p>Wilbur sat beside him, like directly a next to him. There was nowhere near a meter between them.</p><p>Tubbo realized why, he couldn't move his arms from behind his back and he wasn't very conscious at the moment.</p><p>"Open up." Wilbur said, holding a spoon up to his mouth. He didn't really fight back, he couldn't bring himself too in his unexplained drowsiness, but much as he wanted too he just didn't fight.</p><p>Tubbo opened his mouth and let Wilbur put the spoon in. He closed it to keep the food as Wilbur took back the spoon.</p><p>"There you go, you know what's happening don't you?" Wilbur crooned, cupping his cheek as he brought up another spoonful of the breakfast food.</p><p>Tubbo ate it, at the time he wasn't exactly registering what was happening other than his wrists were itchy, his face was warm due to the hand there, and he was getting food.</p><p>So no, Tubbo had really no idea what was happening.</p><p>"Not really." Tubbo murmured, his eyes drooping slightly.</p><p>"Aww, Phil, Tommy is still asleep!" Wilbur looked over his shoulder at Phil a second before looking back at Tubbo.</p><p>"Did you get enough sleep Toms?" Phil looked over, smiling gently.</p><p>Tubbo had been here nearly four weeks, responding to Tommy's name was becoming second nature.</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>"Tommy don't lie, we've been doing so much for you. You need to be honest with us."</p><p>For some reason, the only thing Tubbo registered the whole morning was that last sentence. "You need to be honest with yourselves."</p><p>Wilbur sighed and continued.</p><p>After another couple minutes Tubbo's drowsiness wore off.</p><p>"Why are you spoon feeding me?" He questioned, shaking his head to clear it.</p><p>"You couldn't do it yourself Bub, besides you were still sleepy."</p><p>"You tied me up?" He shifted to see his wrists.</p><p>"Are you alright? You don't—here drink some water."</p><p>Tubbo glared at the cup of water slightly but he drank it, even though Wilbur was the one holding it up to his mouth.</p><p>He blinked hard as Wilbur watched him carefully.</p><p>That was not water.</p><p>His mind buzzed as he tried to think properly, coherently. It was just a blur.</p><p>He doesn't remember what happened exactly after breakfast, he remembers laying on the couch with Phil, not sure what he was talking about at the time though.</p><p> </p><p>The following day was more of less the same, except he remembers it more vividly and he remembers realizing the water had been drugged. Even though it didn't really feel like it the next day, he was still too... slow.</p><p>Tubbo always considered himself a logical thinker, he was the smart one even though most people didn't realize it.</p><p>However now, he didn't know who he was. All he knew was to trust the three men he now lived with.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>... longer chapter this time right? It feels like it but I’m not sure...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. As Buzzed As A Bee</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy wants to see his family again, Sapnap takes him. What they find isn’t what they wanted at all.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello lovelies! I realized I haven’t given you guys a name to call me so you can call me Lily!</p><p>I apologize for the longer wait on the chapter, I honestly just forgot to post. Sorry.</p><p>Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Four. Months.</p><p>Tommy's been here four months.</p><p>And as time had passed, his brother was right. His mind would offer up those memories with time.</p><p>Now he remembered everything. Once his first proper memory came, it all started coming in a landslide. Tommy was convinced that writing down what he knew helped.</p><p>However now he had to figure out why his real family, his first family, had basically disappeared. Then he would handle Dream.</p><p>Sapnap honestly became a great older brother, whether he intended to or not he filled in the role that Wilbur had left.</p><p>Tommy couldn't consider Karl or Quackity his brothers if he did Sapnap, until they finally got married. Otherwise it would be weird.</p><p>But right now he and Sapnap were headed to Technoblade's house. George had tagged along, as well as Ranboo.</p><p>Tommy liked Ranboo. He was cool. Annoyingly taller than him but cool. At one point, Tommy didn't know when exactly, but Sapnap had practically adopted Ranboo into their little circle and now he was one of Tommy's closest friends. He trusted him a lot more than he would admit.</p><p>They came up to the cottage and saw four figures outside. Two were dueling —Tommy realized they were Phil and Techno— and two were close together on a bench, watching.</p><p>"Hello!" Sapnap waved and Tommy was as well. "What's up with y'all?"</p><p>"Oh hey Sapnap..." Phil trailed off as he saw Tommy, who squirmed slightly under the gaze he received.</p><p>He noticed that both of the people on the bench were brunet's, one much shorter than the other.</p><p>"Will!" Phil hissed, maybe not loudly but Tommy could tell what he said.</p><p>The taller of the two brunets nodded and scooped up the smaller, Tommy pinned their faces.</p><p>Wilbur and Tubbo.</p><p>But what was concerning was the completely weird and off putting look that glazed over his friend's eyes, once they were gone Tommy realized Techno had a <em>possessive</em> look in his own eyes that settled on <em>Tommy</em>.</p><p>"Uhh... so Tommy died a few months back and he got revived, we helped him regain his memory and he wanted to come see you guys." Sapnap explained, on guard.</p><p>"Oh, well welcome back... Tommy..." Phil said, looking more confused then anything.</p><p>Techno came up beside him and whispered something into his ear. Then the look that was in both Wilbur's and Techno's eyes appeared in Phil’s.</p><p>"We'd love if you wanted to stay for a while, mate. We don't have a lot of room inside and it's getting colder, so only Tommy can stay long." Phil said, all confusion gone.</p><p>It was... terrifying if Tommy was honest. The way they looked at him.</p><p>"Can I talk to Tubbo alone?" Tommy asked.</p><p>"Sure." Phil nodded. Tommy glanced at Sapnap, sending him alerts that he didn't want to stay but he needed to know what was wrong with Tubbo. He knew his friend, even after his memory was all jumbled, and he wasn't like that. He hated being carried like a baby and hated being treated like one even more.</p><p>"I'll catch up with you guys later." Tommy said to his friends. He walked over to Phil and he saw Sapnap nod.</p><p>"We can wait out here a while. If you want to stay longer let us know." Sapnap said. He nodded Ranboo and George to go into the shelter of the trees.</p><p>"So what's been going on here?" Tommy asked warily. "What's up with Tubbo?"</p><p>"Oh he's been sick lately so Will just took him to his room." Phil answered as they went inside. "Wilbur!"</p><p>Wilbur came out of a room. "Yeah Phil?"</p><p>"Come chat, Tommy wants to talk to Tubbo."</p><p>Wilbur hesitated but nodded. He let Tommy pass him and into the bedroom and he went over to Phil and Techno.</p><p>Tommy entered the bedroom, he saw Tubbo leaning against the back board, staring out the window.</p><p>"Tubbo?"</p><p>He didn't even look up.</p><p>"Tubbo!" Tommy hissed as he came over. He looked over then froze.</p><p>"No, no, no—not right now!" He suddenly brought his hands up to his head. "No—it's not real. To—Tub—Gah!"</p><p>Tommy rushed over to his side.</p><p>"Tubbo—"</p><p>"No shut up. Shut up!" He shook his head. "I can't—who—why does it hurt?"</p><p>Tommy was freaking out. He didn't know what was happening to the brunet in front of him. He wasn't hurt from what he could tell, but he looked like he was in pain.</p><p>"Tubbo breathe—"</p><p>"Stop calling me that." Tubbo snapped. He wasn't bringing his voice louder than a loud whisper. Not even a normal level. "Why does it hurt!?"</p><p>Tommy didn't know what to do.</p><p>Wilbur came in the doorway and he knelt by the bed.</p><p>"Hey calm down, breathe." He said so softly Tommy didn't even recognize it. "You're home. You're alright bubs."</p><p>Tubbo calmed down.</p><p>"What the fuck?" Tommy breathed.</p><p>"Step outside a second." Wilbur told Tommy, with the same gentle softness.</p><p>Tommy furrowed his eyebrows. He wanted to argue but after seeing the meltdown Tubbo had—seemingly at the use of his own name—he stepped out.</p><p>He didn't hear what Wilbur said but he felt uncomfortable under Techno and Phil's gazes.</p><p>"Alright, you're can go back." Wilbur told him, still all soft. "He just didn't understand, neither do we don't worry. You're safe here, Toms." Tommy froze as Wilbur gave him a tight hug. Too tight and not wanting to let go.</p><p>Tommy couldn't bring himself to melt into it like he wanted to purely because of the oddly possessive looks he received from the three.</p><p>He just slid out and went back into the room where Tubbo was, the door clicking shut behind him.</p><p>"Are you alright?" Tommy asked, sitting on the side of the bed. Tubbo hadn't moved, he was muttering to himself some sort of mantra Tommy couldn't hear. "Tubbo?"</p><p>"'m fine." He said shortly before continuing whatever he was repeating. From what Tommy could tell he was trying to drill it in.</p><p>"So... how have you been?"</p><p>"Good."</p><p>Tommy barely caught what he was saying and slowly he could barely understand him.</p><p>"My name is Tubbo and they're my brothers. Trust them no one else. No one else." He said those exact words on repeat.</p><p>"Hey what's your name?" Tommy asked.</p><p>"Tom—Tubbo." He answered almost instantly but corrected himself halfway through.</p><p>He nearly called himself Tommy.</p><p>He was wearing one of Tommy's old shirts.</p><p>The bedroom looked nearly exactly like the one he grew up in only it was before they found Tubbo.</p><p>There was something very wrong here.</p><p>He opened his communicator and quickly messaged Sapnap, telling him things were weird and he didn't trust it.</p><p>He noticed Tubbo didn't speak first as well.</p><p>Phil entered with a glass of water and some pills.</p><p>"Hey boys," Tubbo had looked up, "here you go mate." He gave manually sat Tubbo up, as if he couldn't do it himself, Tommy noticed how Tubbo practically didn't even move as Phil put a couple pills into his mouth and poured a little water in as well. Tubbo swallowed visibly and Phil let him sit back down. "You want some water too Tommy?"</p><p>Tommy didn't like how Tubbo had looked a little more alert at the name.</p><p>"Uhh, no thanks."</p><p>"Come on Tommy, you look like you need a drink." Phil set his hands on Tommy's shoulders and steered him out.</p><p>Tommy didn't like this. He didn't like this at all.</p><p>Wilbur appeared as he tried to squirm away from Phil.</p><p>Phil suddenly tightened his hold and tilted his head back as Wilbur poured something into his mouth and clamped his mouth shut with his hand and covered it.</p><p>Tommy was panicking. He couldn't scream for help without swallowing and he couldn't spit anything out.</p><p>Eventually he had to swallow.</p><p>He still struggled against their holds but slowly... everything began to get heavy. He sunk down and it felt like he was sinking into a hug. Everything blurred and he kept fighting. He did what his heart said and kept fighting.</p><p>But his body just slowly relaxed and he passed out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy woke up slowly. Despite waking up in a panic.</p><p>The room had changed. It was still his room from when he was really little but now it was basically split into two, now Tubbo's side was there and Tubbo was sitting in his bed silent and calm. Fiddling with a bee plush that wasn't there the day before.</p><p>The door opened and Techno and Wilbur came in.</p><p>Wilbur went over to Tubbo and easily picked him up into a gentle hold, he set the plush back on the bed, and smiled at Tommy.</p><p>Techno walked over to Tommy and picked him up, exactly like Wilbur was holding Tubbo. Arms under his leg and shoulders, one of his hands in his hair and combing through it.</p><p>Tommy didn't like this. It was weird. But it was warm.</p><p>Techno carried him out of the room and Wilbur with Tubbo was right behind them.</p><p>Tommy couldn't really move. He tried his hardest to squirm or run, but he couldn't really control his movements.</p><p>He was sat opposite of Tubbo, Techno on his left and Wilbur across from him. Phil was at the head between him and Tubbo.</p><p>"Morning boys," Phil smiled gently.</p><p>Tommy was in dead shock as Wilbur began to <em>spoon feed</em> Tubbo, who just looked quiet. His usually bright blue eyes were dull and he was sorta just... there. And even after being shot by Technoblade he had light.</p><p>He realized he couldn't even really lift his arms without getting tired when a filled spoon appeared in front of him.</p><p>Technoblade was trying to spoon feed him.</p><p>Tommy tried to deny it. Tried to snap at Techno. But his words were soft and barely hear able by his own ears.</p><p>"Come on Theseus, you need to eat."</p><p>Tommy wondered if he could even open his mouth.</p><p>He tried and surprisingly he could. However maybe opening his mouth when trying to avoid Techno spoon feeding him wasn't a good choice.</p><p>He swallowed the food just forced into his mouth and once again tried to yell at them. But he couldn't bring himself to.</p><p>Is this why Tubbo was so resigned? Because if he didn't do as he was told he would literally be unable to do anything?</p><p>Tommy kept glancing at his shorter friend.</p><p>Tubbo looked up at Wilbur, a small question in his eyes and Wilbur nodded.</p><p>"Yeah you can say something." Wilbur said gently, he reached over and picked up Tubbo's glass of water.</p><p>"T-Tommy you should just eat. It's alright." Tubbo said softly, his voice small.</p><p>Once Tubbo had finished speaking Wilbur had him drink some water.</p><p>"He's right, Toms." Tommy froze as Phil said his old nickname. "You need to eat."</p><p>He refused. Sapnap would get him out of here he knew it. Sapnap, Karl, Big Q, Ranboo, Fundy too. They were his family. They're the ones who were there for him when he needed them. Not these people. No Tubbo was his family no matter what, but Phil, Techno, and Wilbur lost that right long ago.</p><p>"How about just some water then?" Techno sighed, offering him some water.</p><p>Tommy refused it.</p><p>He couldn't take it. He couldn't.</p><p>Tommy was a stubborn kid and he knew it.</p><p>He just had to be more stubborn than the pig.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Huge time-skip + Tommy joining Tubbo? Yee</p><p>Wonder what the SBI will do now that they don’t need lil bee boy to pretend to be Tommy?</p><p>Guess we’ll find out</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. As Quiet As A Mouse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tubbo has a subtle identity crisis but he was given a little bit of freedom... if that’s what it can be called.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tubbo was... confused to say the least.</p>
<p>He didn't understand why he was supposed to address himself and only respond to 'Tubbo' the name Wilbur used to make quite clear that he wasn't allowed to respond to.</p>
<p>He didn't know why he wasn't allowed to. But he trusted Wilbur, Phil, and Techno fully. They wouldn't trick him, lie yes but only for his safety, but trick him? No.</p>
<p>They wanted what was best for him. They... they wanted what was best for Tommy.</p>
<p>Wilbur, Techno, and Phil were helping Tommy.</p>
<p>They were nice to Tommy, they helped him with everything, he couldn't do anything. He wasn't supposed to. He was young and needed help with everything, Tommy needed his older brothers to help him.</p>
<p>They... they were nice to Tommy.</p>
<p>'My name is Tubbo. My name is Tubbo.'</p>
<p>He began to recite what he knew about the difference between him and Tommy.</p>
<p>Tommy is Wilbur and Techno's little brother. You are Tommy's best friend.</p>
<p>They love you but Tommy is more important.</p>
<p>They care about you but Tommy is younger he needs more guidance.</p>
<p>You owe them your life; they saved you, Tommy doesn't owe them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tubbo was curled in Phil's arms as Tommy was basically forced between Techno and Wilbur. It was after dinner now, a warm day inside. Nobody went out.</p>
<p>A calloused yet gentle hand was carding through Tubbo's hair.</p>
<p>He was comfortable in the man's arms, Phil was humming softly with Wilbur.</p>
<p>It sounded like a lullaby.</p>
<p>Tubbo couldn't move, he wasn't allowed to move on his own. Or was Tommy not allowed to move on his own...</p>
<p>The rules have changed since Wilbur said he's Tubbo. They gave those rules to Tommy not Tubbo. Would he have new rules?</p>
<p>Tubbo was startled but he didn't show it when Phil suddenly stood up, picking him up with him.</p>
<p>They moved into the bedroom and Phil sat Tubbo on his bed.</p>
<p>Tubbo got slightly confused when he wasn't settled under the blankets like usual but he didn't show it.</p>
<p>Phil smiled at him and as always, pressed a kiss to his forehead before he left the room.</p>
<p>Tubbo didn't know what he was meant to do.</p>
<p>Tommy's rules... he knew Tommy's rules. What were Tubbo's rules? They weren't the same because Phil always put him under the blankets so something must be different.</p>
<p>Tubbo didn't dare go under the blankets on his own. He wasn't allowed to move on his own so don't move. He just picked up the bee plush, Wilbur had said yesterday while they were changing the room, that he could always play with his plush.</p>
<p>Tubbo half wondered how old he was.</p>
<p>He was 16–no... no he must be 17. They never—Tommy's birthday is in April not December. Tubbo wasn't here when his birthday rolled around. Tubbo was pretty sure it was nearing April.</p>
<p>He couldn't exactly ask.</p>
<p>He wasn't allowed to speak. Little boys like himself wasn't allowed to speak out of turn so he had to look for permission or be addressed and he couldn't look for permission too often or else.</p>
<p>How could he ask about his rules? Should he even acknowledge there might be a difference or just do as normal?</p>
<p>Not to mention his slight identity crisis that suddenly when Tommy appeared Wilbur told him he was Tubbo and not to forget it. If he heard him call himself Tommy then he'd be very disappointed.</p>
<p>Tubbo hated making Wilbur disappointed.</p>
<p>He sat on his bed, in a loose green button up shirt, one sleeve unbutton and not folded up so it covered his hand, and the other sleeve was buttoned.</p>
<p>He fiddled with the bee's antenna and wings, he hated moving his legs since Wilbur could always tell when he did and he would be disappointed and lecture him again that he—Tommy wasn't allowed to move.</p>
<p>Tubbo hoped new Tommy—no, old Tommy— would be able to handle the rules.</p>
<p>Later, Wilbur came in with Tommy and sat him on his bed, Tommy was falling asleep. Tubbo didn't look up, he was playing with his bee, but he saw Wilbur open a drawer and bring out a syringe and a bottle. He saw him fill the syringe.</p>
<p>Tubbo realized he was good at hiding he was watching. Wilbur didn't like it when he watched things but his heart was so curious he couldn't help it. It's the only thing his heart tells him to do that goes against Wilbur's words. Well that and to run outside and play with bees but he never does that.</p>
<p>Wilbur hummed. Tubbo saw him take the filled syringe over to Tommy and inject the liquid into him. Then he put the bottle away and set the syringe aside to be cleaned.</p>
<p>He changed Tommy out of his day clothes into his pajamas before coming over and doing the same for Tubbo. Which truthfully, that was the only thing he didn't like.</p>
<p>"Hey Tubbo, would you like to walk around the house tomorrow?" Wilbur asked softly as he set him back on his bed.</p>
<p>Tubbo hesitated then nodded. He gave Wilbur the look and Wilbur nodded. "Am I allowed to?"</p>
<p>"Sure, if" Tubbo knew there was an if "you clean up the house and take care of Tommy. You know his schedule." Wilbur said, smiling and he tapped Tubbo's nose. "I'll be here in the morning, before Tommy wakes up, and I'll give you the rundown of your chores. They'll be really easy I promise. Then I'll take Tommy downstairs and we'll eat breakfast just like normal—wait, would you like to eat yourself?"</p>
<p>Tubbo was confused on this freedom he was being offered. But he nodded slowly after a second.</p>
<p>"I'll add on another chore for that, a small one don't worry." Wilbur assured. "I'll tell you this and what you have to do again in the morning so you don't forget. Ok bubs?"</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded. Wilbur tapped his nose again.</p>
<p>"Attaboy, come on, under the blankets."</p>
<p>Tubbo shifted and slid under the blankets.</p>
<p>Wilbur put the plush on the table and smiled at Tubbo gently.</p>
<p>"Good night."</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded and drifted off to sleep.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning Wilbur woke him an hour earlier than usual and he let him walk downstairs.</p>
<p>He was slow, Tubbo had to readjust to having to walk.</p>
<p>He hasn't used his own legs in a good long while. How long exactly he wasn't sure. They felt weak, and it hurt a little.</p>
<p>"So, you just have to sweep up everywhere, and clean the kitchen, dining room, and living room. Alright bubs? You know how right?"</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded. He could make Wilbur proud if he does this well.</p>
<p>"I got faith it you. You'll do well. Don't forget to wash the dishes too." Wilbur told him. "You can walk around these three rooms to get used to walking again, so you don't fall while working."</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded. Wilbur went over to the couch and he let Tubbo move.</p>
<p>Tubbo was still confused but excited. They're letting him go against the very explicit rules they set for him! Tommy was happy—no. No you're Tubbo. Tubbo. Those rules were set for Tommy and since things have changed Tubbo's rules must be different.</p>
<p>He was flexing his hands, moving them around, so he didn't accidentally drop a dish because they weren't used to lifting things.</p>
<p>He had to do this perfectly. He would make Wilbur proud.</p>
<p>Just before breakfast, which Phil let Tubbo watch him make, Wilbur gave Tubbo a quick reminder of his new chores. Which he was excited to do.</p>
<p>Wilbur told him he still wasn't allowed to speak, especially to Tommy. If he saw them talking he would be disappointed.</p>
<p>Tubbo hated making Wilbur disappointed.</p>
<p>Tubbo promised himself he would make Wilbur proud.</p>
<p>At breakfast, Wilbur reminded Tubbo he was allowed to eat his own food. Which he did so carefully, not wanting to spill anything.</p>
<p>He made sure to finish his whole plate, like Wilbur would make sure he did, and drink all his water.</p>
<p>Tommy was still stubborn and refused food again today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was one of the days that Techno would read to Tommy, so the two were on the couch, Wilbur sitting to the side strumming his guitar, and Phil was out.</p>
<p>Tubbo decided it was time to get things cleaned.</p>
<p>Tubbo began by cleaning the table.</p>
<p>Tubbo was wary, his hands were shaking as he moved the heavy dishes to the sink. He washed everything one by one and set them on the rack to dry before he began wiping down the counter.</p>
<p>He was terrified to break a dish so he moved slowly and carefully, knowing that he'd make things worse if he broke something.</p>
<p>Tubbo didn't get his dose yesterday, that's why he was fine right now. The drugs in the water was for his health but the shots were... Tubbo didn't know, probably health as well. It made sure they didn't hurt themselves.</p>
<p>Tubbo finished cleaning the kitchen after just over an hour.</p>
<p>He moved into the dining room and did the same thing. And then the living room, where he had to move around the three brothers, then he swept.</p>
<p>By then he was exhausted. He hasn't moved around that much in forever...</p>
<p>It reminded him of war—Wait when was he in a war?</p>
<p>Tubbo carefully sat on the small chair by the fire, warming his numb fingers and legs.</p>
<p>When was he in a war?</p>
<p>His eyes widened as his mind managed to break through, he felt his face turn neutral as he remember snippets of a war he fought because of drugs.</p>
<p>A war for independence for a nation built to brew potions.</p>
<p>Tubbo's hands began to shake as he close his eyes lightly, not wanting to alert Wilbur to the pain in his skull, but that made it worse. The scenes playing out on the back of his eyelids.</p>
<p>Explosions, arrows flying everywhere, fire burning down his house, his bees dying in front of him.</p>
<p>He silently and subtly gasped for air as he opened his eyes.</p>
<p>That's not real. Wilbur would never let him fight in a war—no. No he would never let Tommy fight in a war and in those weird flashes he was fighting beside Tommy. It's not real. It's not real.</p>
<p>He slowly calmed down as the scenes faded away. He was fine.</p>
<p>"Tubbo how was your chores? It looks like you did well." Wilbur said, pausing his music.</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded as he smiled. He enjoyed the movement, it was nice to be allowed to walk around.</p>
<p>"That good." Wilbur smiled and he continued playing, Techno's monotone voice in the background, telling another myth. From the sounds of it it was Greek this time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Heart vs. Mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy thinks with his heart and while deep thinking with his head is basically inaccessible, it’s not impossible.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a short chapter on mostly Tommy’s thoughts throughout this, not much dialogue but very much important info so...</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy was different from Tubbo and as time passed he realized that his captors didn't really consider that.</p><p>He could feel a... wall build up, blocking out his mind and keeping him from thinking things through.</p><p>He realized that's how they got Tubbo to be so compliant.</p><p>He's been there two days. He didn't know where Sapnap was, or what was taking them so long, but he wanted out.</p><p>In those two days he's received more affection then he has in his whole life. Well he's pretty sure.</p><p>He knew Tubbo was a sucker for affection, it was why he was the more physical of the two but Tommy, he'd never admit it aloud, was more clingy. Tubbo never would initiate physical contact or affection unless he was extremely tired or emotional, even then it had to be to an extreme. Tommy knew Tubbo, while his memories didn't all feel like his own, they were still his. He still knew all of it by heart.</p><p>He knew that Tubbo was always more logical, would ignore what his heart said and followed his head, his want for physical affection was nearly always ignored in favor of being mature. He knew that whatever he was receiving that shut his mind out was what Tubbo also got, which likely made him much easier to control since his mind was no longer on the field.</p><p>Tommy knew his best friend better than he knew himself, but he didn't not know himself.</p><p>He knew that while Tubbo was more logical he was emotional, so while he was being pestered with affection his heart was what led him to knowing it was wrong. It's what kept him afloat in the drowning sea.</p><p>He's been here two days and he noticed that Tubbo was suddenly moving around. Well he cleaned, he did normal chores that a kid would do. And his hands shook whenever he picked something up.</p><p>Tommy was admittedly jealous, he could barely move or think yet Tubbo was there walking freely. But he knew otherwise, he knew the torment he felt was the same thing Tubbo had undergone for the last four months, that upon his arrival he was freed but the strings that held him there were tied too tight that he just did as he was told to get little bits of freedom he wanted.</p><p>Tommy knew he wanted freedom because they both had the same look in their eyes as they both looked out the window.</p><p>Tubbo was always the mind, and with his walled off thanks to whatever drug was in the water, Tubbo was trapped in this house by the people who gave him exactly what his heart wanted without his mind interfering while likely molding his mind into whatever they wanted.</p><p>But Tommy was the heart, and with his mind walked off that's to those same drugs, he was the same. His heart led him in telling him that this was wrong, these weren't his brothers, they were blinded by something. His heart kept the people who held him captive from molding him into their little toy.</p><p>Because ultimately, while they apparently had broke Tubbo, they didn't know what it took to break Tommy.</p><p>It didn't take affection, it took befriending. Like Dream had. But they didn't know that, and Tommy wouldn't let them get him anywhere near the point Dream had.</p><p> </p><p>Tommy wasn't breaking. He could feel his mind blurring, well what little of it he could reach, he knew what missing bits of his memory felt like. He knew if he'd never felt it before he wouldn't have noticed, but he did.</p><p>And it scared him.</p><p>It was nearly a whole week, trapped here, with what once was his family.</p><p>He saw as Tubbo was slowly pushed to do more and more work, as at one point he went outside with Techno and came back carrying scutes. Techno had showed him how to work his turtle farm. The next day, he went outside with Phil and returned with honey. Phil showed him how to work the bee farm.</p><p>Tommy didn't understand at the time, but he noticed he was getting more and more affection, that their patience with Tubbo grew thinner.</p><p>By the end of the week, his memory was spotty. He didn't know all the facts he used to. His time before L'Manberg's founding was all but lost. However he noticed that basically all of the three men's time was spent with Tommy, being affectionate with him. Soft touches and sweet words. Which meant nobody did the basic housework... right? Nope, Tommy noticed Tubbo had more and more chores to do.</p><p>Tommy was trying to figure a way out. He needed to get them both out.</p><p>Because despite what his memories told Tommy of Tubbo, they didn't feel like they were his. Not all of them. The ones during his second exile and right before it didn't feel right, and the ones around Wilbur during his first exile didn't feel like his.</p><p>The discs also seemed weird, they meant so much yet also so little? Their meaning were important but the items? Not so much. He could barely remember their meaning, something about good times before all the bad shit, a symbolism of his friendship with Tubbo. So as far as Tommy cared, Tubbo was still his best friend. Exile or not. </p><p>The discs meant a lot because they symbolized his friendship with Tubbo, because they fought for them together, so if he could just keep Tubbo by his side... do the discs really matter? He didn't care for Dream anymore, Dream caused a lot of harm but it didn't feel like it harmed... Tommy anymore. Those memories felt like he watched a movie and saw that not he himself experienced it.</p><p>Tommy didn't really care for his feud with Dream. Well actually that's a complete lie he wanted revenge against the bastard for killing him three times. But otherwise? He didn't care.</p><p>At the minute, Tommy just wanted to be back home, sitting on the couch with Ranboo and Fundy, arguing with Sapnap who was leaning on the armrest of the armchair with Karl and Quackity cuddling on said armchair, both holding Sapnap's hand as Tommy argued with him. He wanted to be with his family, not these people.</p><p>And he would get back there. He would make sure of it. And he would make sure Tubbo got home as well.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you don’t understand how the drugs work, then lmk cause I can explain it in another note or smth.</p><p>Actually I’ll just give a rundown here:</p><p>Wilbur made them, they’re more of potions then drugs but whatever, they slowly blur/lock away memories at a pace it’s basically unnoticeable. They also basically block out the part of the brain that does the thinking and makes it really hard to think clearly/deeply after sometime. It hurts to some degree. Btw those drugs are in the water. The shots are what prevent them from walking/moving and contain a non-diluted form of the other drug so it hits harder then the water.<br/>(Wilbur didn’t make the shots until a month after the drugged water)</p><p>So that’s the drugs/potions, I hope you guys understand them if you didn’t before, I added some details I have yet to include in the actual story as well.</p><p>And Tommy also hasn’t had his thinking brain blocked out completely just yet btw.</p><p>Thank you for reading hope you enjoyed it! Have a good day! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Buried Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tubbo’s dose of freedom...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tubbo cooked breakfast and swiftly plated the table just as Techno came out.</p>
<p>"Good." The pig-hybrid muttered as he took a seat.</p>
<p>Tubbo was happy he was allowed small bits of freedom, it made sense since he was getting older. Every day he was given a new job, or two, since they thought he was old enough to do it. Well that's what Wilbur said and who was Tubbo to argue?</p>
<p>Now he had to clean the house except for the adult's bedrooms, turn the bee's honey into blocks and take the extra into the fridge, and collect the scutes from the turtle farm. Oh, and make breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It wasn't that bad.</p>
<p>Well sometimes it was hard but he could handle it.</p>
<p>
  <em>Get out. They aren't your family they don't care about you—</em>
</p>
<p>He walked through the snow and to the turtle farm, scooping up the scutes that fell when the babies grew.</p>
<p>He hummed to himself a tune that felt familiar and struck a painful cord.</p>
<p>"My L'Manberg... my L'Manberg... my L'Manberg, my L'Man-berg." He sang quietly as he kneeled in the sand. "For freedom and for liberty, our nation sought to build on these. A victory for all under democracy."</p>
<p>He slowly stood up, putting the gathered scutes into his bag.</p>
<p>"Well the darkness came and then it went. We built a home and watched it sink, and from the rubble there emerged L'Manberg." Tubbo sang quietly, his voice no louder then the wind that blew through the base of the mountain. "My L'Manberg... my L'Manberg... my L'Manberg, my L'Man-berg."</p>
<p>He stopped.</p>
<p>Where did that song come from?</p>
<p>It was like a tune you get in your head and just know the lyrics to but you don't know where you heard it.</p>
<p>Maybe it was one of Wilbur's songs.</p>
<p>Where was L'Manberg?</p>
<p>Tubbo stumbled slightly as a sharp pain shot through his skull.</p>
<p>
  <em>Red, white, blue, black, yellow. Tall walls of blackstone, a dark room of blackstone with chests, a podium of blackstone, yellow concrete, a grey van.</em>
</p>
<p>He shook his head, he hated this weird little flashes. They didn't make sense. He tried to ignore them but sometimes it hurt.</p>
<p>He took a breath and headed back to the house, carrying the bag of scutes with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tubbo wasn't allowed to interact with Tommy. He didn't know why but that was his number one rule aside from no speaking.</p>
<p>However that night Wilbur came up to him.</p>
<p>"Tomorrow, Phil, Techno and I need to go." He told Tubbo. "I've run out of supplies and they need some things as well." Tubbo noted he was holding the bottle that had whatever drug he used each night on Tommy for his health. "We are trusting you to take care of Tommy. You don't talk to him, you don't interact with him. Take him breakfast in the morning, leave him in bed, take him lunch, everything. He's not allowed to leave his bed, understood?"</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded firmly. He knew how important Tommy was to them, he couldn't let Tommy get hurt.</p>
<p>"Good. Make sure to complete your chores, I'm very proud of you, Tubbo."</p>
<p>Tubbo beamed. Then his face dropped.</p>
<p>"What's wrong?"</p>
<p>Tubbo gave him a questioning look, after a second Wilbur nodded. "How is Tommy supposed to eat? He's not allowed to eat himself right, and I can't interact with him." His voice barely went above a whisper.</p>
<p>"You're allowed to feed him but that's it. Ok?"</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded, that problem was solved, everything else should be easy.</p>
<p>Wilbur ruffled his hair and went to his room.</p>
<p>Tubbo double checked and made sure all his chores were done before he himself retired for the night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tubbo woke up early, as always, and got to work.</p>
<p>He was beginning to dislike his chores but they gave him the freedom he oh-so longed for.</p>
<p>He made breakfast and Wilbur, Techno, and Phil ate quickly before leaving, Wilbur telling him quickly what he had to do.</p>
<p>"Don't do anything wrong, you know how I feel about that."</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded. Wilbur gave him a smile and left.</p>
<p>Tubbo grabbed a tray and took it to his and Tommy's room.</p>
<p>He didn't speak as he sat the slightly younger teen up and fed him, at the exact same time Tommy always ate.</p>
<p>"Tubbo?" Tommy looked at him confused.</p>
<p>Tubbo shook his head, sending the blond warning looks as he gave him more food.</p>
<p>Once he finished he left the room and got to work.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>By mid afternoon, he cleaned the whole house except his and Tommy's bedroom.</p>
<p>The weird visions were getting worse too, they caused horrible headaches and Tubbo hated it so much.</p>
<p>Tubbo quickly made lunch and went back into their bedroom. Tommy was more awake this time.</p>
<p>Tubbo sat by the bed and began to, once again, silently feed his best friend.</p>
<p>"Stop-stop-stop." Tommy ordered as Tubbo was halfway through. "What is wrong with you?"</p>
<p>Tubbo stared at him. No one gave him permission to speak.</p>
<p>"Tubbo? Talk to me big man! What have you been up to?!"</p>
<p>
  <em>"What have you been up to?!" A man backhanded his face, rings cutting his cheekbone.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Nothing! I've done nothing!" Tubbo screamed back, holding his now bleeding cheek.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"LIAR!" Tubbo yelped as the man smacked him again, this time his ring left a cut in his temple. "YOU'VE BEEN A TRAITOR!"</em>
</p>
<p>"Tubbo?" Tommy shook his arm.</p>
<p>Tubbo shook his head, almost stumbling back. That was terrible.</p>
<p>He kept trying to get Tommy to finish eating, Tommy was stubborn and would talk as much as he could, talking like he wasn't a child, trying to convince Tubbo that this wasn't his life and he was being manipulated. Which was just stupid, no one here would ever manipulate Tubbo.</p>
<p>However his words hung on as Tubbo went back to the kitchen, he began washing the dishes in the sink.</p>
<p>When he finished, he sat down on the floor, leaning against the cabinet and letting his hands touch the cold tile flooring.</p>
<p>He liked the cold stone. Well not really, it reminded him of something.</p>
<p>A cold ravine, buttons sometimes everywhere sometimes not. A potato farm...</p>
<p>
  <em>"Tubbo? What are you—"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Tommy! Thank Prime you're alright!" Tubbo hugged the taller blond tightly. "I'm so sorry I-I didn't know what I was doing with Schlatt, he called me up and I just—I didn't know what to do, I was scared—"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Hey, it's alright! It's great even! You're our man on the inside Tubbo! You can give us info!" Tommy said eagerly.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Well—Tommy I don't think..."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"What? We need all the help we can get. Schlatt's evil."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"I know but I don't want to spy—" Tubbo hesitated at the excited look on Tommy's face. "Nevermind. I'll spy for you."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Yes! Come see Pogtopia!"</em>
</p>
<p>Tubbo held back the urge to scream as he held his head. Pressing his hands against his ears.</p>
<p>It stopped.</p>
<p>He relaxed and sighed. He mentally recited  to himself.</p>
<p>
  <em>My name is Tubbo. I am 17. I have never been in a war, I have never known a man called Schlatt, and I have never been in a ravine.</em>
</p>
<p>He repeated that to himself a few times before he got back up.</p>
<p>Tubbo looked around and noticed he hadn't finished cleaning the living area.</p>
<p>He didn't know where he got these cleaning 'skills' but he was happy he had them since he did well. Maybe Wilbur would be proud of him.</p>
<p>
  <em>"I'm proud of ya, kid." A man with brown hair and ram horns in a black suit ruffled his hair.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"T-Thanks Schlatt." Tubbo nodded, forcing a smile.</em>
</p>
<p>Tubbo gasped. What was happening?!</p>
<p>First this Schlatt is hurting him, then he had hurt Tommy, but this time he was nice?!</p>
<p>It was insane! He just wanted this to stop! These people he's never met, these thoughts he doesn't understand, these places he's never seen!</p>
<p>He wanted it to stop coming to his mind! He wanted to just forget!</p>
<p>
  <em>"Is having memory problems... nice?" Tubbo picked at the grass under him as he sat in a field under the stars beside another teen, both of them in suits.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"What do you mean?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"I mean... being able to just... forget things. Being able to leave and not feel guilt about the people you've left behind because you forgot them. Being able to forget the pain and just being you."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Oh... no. No, because that makes me forget who I am. What shaped me. What brought me to the people I know and the places I've been. It would change me."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Tubbo nodded. "That's... I needed to hear that, thanks Ranboo."</em>
</p>
<p>Tubbo gasped for air as he leaned against the counter.</p>
<p>Who was Ranboo?!</p>
<p>Tubbo wanted to know. He <em>needed</em> to know.</p>
<p>Hold on...</p>
<p>Tommy knows.</p>
<p>Tubbo shook his head.</p>
<p>He couldn't interact with Tommy.</p>
<p>Tubbo walked back to their shared room and got to work, cleaning every surface.</p>
<p>Tommy was talking, insulting, complimenting doing everything he could to get Tubbo to speak. Then he went silent for a solid two minutes before he spoke again. "What happened to you? You were never like this before."</p>
<p>Tubbo glanced at him and sighed. Tommy thought of the weirdest things. What ‘before’ was he talking about? There wasn't a before. Tommy came up with the most random things.</p>
<p>Tubbo recalled a weird event, when Tommy and Wilbur were arguing in a call on their comms with Tubbo there and Tommy, he was in the Nether, had went from screaming to talking about a moth he would name Clementine.</p>
<p>Hold on...</p>
<p>Wait.</p>
<p>Tubbo's never been to the Nether. <em>Tommy's</em> never been to the Nether. They've never had comms.</p>
<p>Tubbo froze for a second, he thought about it.</p>
<p>"What the fuck is wrong with you? You're like... a maid! A robot! They tell you what to do and you do it!" Tommy groaned.</p>
<p>They've never been to the Nether so that weird thought was impossible. It never happened. Tubbo decided.</p>
<p>"Tubbo—just say something! <em>Please</em>!" Tommy was begging him.</p>
<p>Tommy never begged.</p>
<p>Tubbo looked over at him, concerned.</p>
<p>"You've been silent since the first day! I know you can't think—"</p>
<p>What did he mean can't think?</p>
<p>"—and you can't use logic instead of emotions because of those fucking drugs but please. Just talk to me."</p>
<p>Tubbo took a breath. A few words wouldn't hurt and maybe he could shove some sense into Tommy.</p>
<p>"There was never a before, you need to calm down and just do as you're told." Tubbo said, he watched Tommy light up then immediately fade out.</p>
<p>"Bullshit!"</p>
<p>Tubbo made a mistake speaking, now he couldn't stop. "You shouldn't curse. Kids are not supposed to curse."</p>
<p>"And you're not supposed to be the rule follower." Tommy countered.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Tommy why can't you just be like Tubbo and follow the rules for once?!" Wilbur groaned as he looked at the slightly shorter blond.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Tommy spluttered. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HE—"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Don't try and put the blame on him, we all know between the two of you he's the more mature and the rule follower."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Tubbo giggled as Wilbur left.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Tommy glared at him. "You—"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Want to go raid Dream's house?" Tubbo asked, a grin on his face.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"You are so fucking mean, nobody believes me when I tell them you're the one who starts our rule breaking adventures." Tommy rolled his eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"Is that a no?" Tubbo smirked.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"No."</em>
</p>
<p>Tubbo hated this. "Just stop." He couldn't tell Wilbur or else it would get worse.</p>
<p>Why would Wilbur make it worse?</p>
<p>
  <em>Because he's insane—</em>
</p>
<p>"He's not insane. Why is my own mind fighting me!?" Tubbo hissed. "This doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense."</p>
<p>"Tubbo listen to me! We're best friends right?" Tommy sat up.</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded. He knew that. But Tommy was being weird right no—</p>
<p>"Listen. We fought together, I burned down your house once, but you rebuilt it. We fought for L'Manberg's independence. We fought for my discs! We fought against Schlatt! You were our spy on the inside! Then you became President and got kidnapped by these guys..."</p>
<p>Tubbo shook his head. No. No they're family. ‘These guys’ saved him off the side of the road and now he owed them. He looked away and got back to work.</p>
<p>"If there was never a before then where did you get those scars?"</p>
<p>"Scars?" Tubbo stopped, he looked over at Tommy in confusion. What scars?</p>
<p>Tommy's eyes widened. "Look at your reflection. Where did you get those burns?"</p>
<p>Tubbo looked over at the window. He saw his reflection for the first time in a long while and saw red, faded burns. Covering his left cheek and chin, it went down.</p>
<p>Tubbo pulled at the collar of his shirt to see the burns that covered his neck and chest. It was in a flower exploding shape, starting from the center of his chest.</p>
<p>"Wh-what—S-Surely not." He whispered. He shook his head, scrambling back. "No—"</p>
<p>"Where did they come from?"</p>
<p>"Stop." Tubbo covered his ears, trying to tune it out and stop the pain that was shooting through his head. To stop the explosions that echoed in the back of his mind.</p>
<p>"Tubbo where are they from?"</p>
<p>"Stop."</p>
<p>"Just tell me!"</p>
<p>"Stop <em>please</em>!"</p>
<p>"Only if you tell me what they're from!"</p>
<p>"<em>STOP</em>!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oops, my hand slipped.</p>
<p>Oh well, I guess Tommy just literally broke his mind. Oh no</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Shattered Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tubbo’s mind barrier broke... now it’s time to try and escape before the Sleepy Bois get back.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>SO SORRY FOR THE HUGE WAIT! I’VE BEEN DISTRACTED WITH SCHOOL EVEN WITH THIS CHAPTER READY TO RELEASE FOR WEEKS I ONLY JUST GOT THE TIME TO POST IT. I AM SO SORRY!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy stared in shock as Tubbo dropped to the ground with a pained cry, holding his head.</p>
<p>He might've done it.</p>
<p>He got to him.</p>
<p>But now he's in pain.</p>
<p>Tommy can see the pain on his face. He tried to push himself up but he couldn't.</p>
<p>He watched as Tubbo breathed faster than how he should. He tried to move closer to him. He watched him hug himself as he... he had a panic attack.</p>
<p>"Tubbo—Tubbo. Tubbo listen to me. You're ok. Just take a deep breath and calm down." Tommy instructed, he was very familiar with panic attacks.</p>
<p>He kept talking, telling Tubbo to slow down, to breathe.</p>
<p>And slowly, after <em>several</em> minutes, he calmed down.</p>
<p>Tommy watched him, eyes wide and hopeful, maybe his friend was remembering like he had a while ago.</p>
<p>He stood back up shakily, he was trembling.</p>
<p>"I... I broke." Tubbo whispered softly. "They fucking broke me. No no they care—No they don't. Stop it."</p>
<p>He was back... mostly.</p>
<p>"Tubbo?"</p>
<p>"Tommy?" His head snapped up, staring at Tommy with wide eyes.</p>
<p>Wide, broken, terrified, blue eyes.</p>
<p>"Tubbo..."</p>
<p>
  <em>What happened to him?</em>
</p>
<p>"Oh my god—you're alive." Tubbo moved closer then backed away. "How—when—nggh!" He pressed a hand to his head. "Stop!"</p>
<p>"Tubbo!" Tommy finally managed to stand up slightly, he could barely do so. "Hey calm down. It-it's alright." He said shakily.</p>
<p>Tubbo caught his arms as he wobbled but quickly let go and backed away, causing Tommy to fall back onto the bed.</p>
<p>"No—stop it! — Tommy!" Tubbo grabbed his head again, Tommy saw tears fall down his cheeks. "Make it stop please!" He was begging him. Tubbo was begging Tommy to make it stop.</p>
<p>Tommy felt horror fall over him, he caused this...</p>
<p>"Tubbo! Take a second to breathe! Can you come closer?"</p>
<p>Tubbo nodded shakily. He shuffled toward Tommy and the blond managed to grab his arm and pull him into a weak hug.</p>
<p>Tubbo broke down in his arms. Crying, muttering, pleading with him to make it stop, begging him not to leave again.</p>
<p>Tommy couldn't really hold him back but he tried and he comforted Tubbo best he could.</p>
<p>Suddenly Tubbo pulled away. "Wait we need to get out—I-I gotta find a communicator!" Tubbo ran out of the room, leaving Tommy on the bed, barely holding his own body up.</p>
<p>Tommy was hopeful. Tubbo was back but... not fully. He was in pain. He was hurting because he broke through the mind barrier that has been built up over the last few months.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Tommy heard him end a call and after a minute, Tubbo ran down the hall and back, now holding a sword and shoes.</p>
<p>"Alright, shoes." Tommy gave him a look. "I know, I have to do it for you."</p>
<p>"Fuck off." Tommy glared.</p>
<p>Tubbo rolled his eyes and did Tommy's shoes before his own. Then he strapped the sword to his belt and grabbed Tommy's hands, pulling him up.</p>
<p>"Let's hope they don't come home early again." Tubbo muttered softly.</p>
<p>"What d'you mean?" Tommy asked, trying to shuffled his feet forward and it did a little as Tubbo practically carried him outside into the arctic cold.</p>
<p>Tommy didn't like the cold, he decided.</p>
<p>He could tell Tubbo didn't really know what he was doing or what was happening. He knew he had a vague understanding.</p>
<p>He was really worried about Tubbo. He had somehow forgotten their whole lives? Well yeah he did too but he had died and got revived.</p>
<p>"Oh Tubbo."</p>
<p>They both froze.</p>
<p>Tommy managed to turned his head enough to see the three they were trying to escape from right there.</p>
<p>"N-No." Tubbo shook his head.</p>
<p>"Tubbo run." Tommy said. Looking back with his eyes wide. He saw Tubbo's eyes, wide with fear and confusion and just all around mixed signals.</p>
<p>"Remember what happened last time?" Phil came forward. The thing Tommy hated was how soft they all looked. They looked just sad they tried to escape.</p>
<p>"Tubbo—"</p>
<p>"I guess you really do hate us."</p>
<p>"No no no! Stop it!" Tubbo squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head. "You're not like this! It's... I don't..."</p>
<p>"Tubbo they're insane! Run!" Tommy urged, albeit a little frantically since the three were coming closer.</p>
<p>"I-I don't—It's all mixed up—I can't—can't outrun them."</p>
<p>"Whoa whoa whoa wait—"</p>
<p>Tubbo shoved an enderpearl into Tommy's hands and threw it for him towards the Portal before turning around and holding out his sword.</p>
<p>"TUBBO NO—" Tommy stumbled and landed in the snow. "O—Oof!"</p>
<p>Tommy groaned. He tried to move, turn around, anything.</p>
<p>He managed to get on his back and sorta just lay there in the snow.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then Sapnap, Quackity, George, and Sam came out of the portal.</p>
<p>"Tommy!" Sapnap helped him up, Tommy leaned on him.</p>
<p>"T-Tubbo, he—they—"</p>
<p>"That kid." Sapnap muttered. "I told him both of you needed to get out.” He must’ve been the person Tubbo called, or at least the person he spoke to. “Quackity take Tommy back home—"</p>
<p>"Wait Sap—"</p>
<p>"I'm not letting Technoblade kill you again. Go."</p>
<p>Quackity reluctantly took Tommy from Sapnap and they went through the portal.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Op, and Tubbo’s tendency to care about other people more than himself shines true!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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